Friday, April 16, 2010

Time For A Change

I'm bored. Not with my life, with my work. Day by day I feel my brain cells dying, and my soul slowing rotting away. I sell and service insurance every single day. What does that have to do with my soul, you ask? As my grandmother once said to me, "You sell insurance. You lie for a living." While I don't think that's necessarily true, I do feel like I bend the truth on more occasions than I care to really think about.

Each day I talk to the same people, I tell the same stories, and I deal with the same excuses. I realize we're in tough economic times right now, but do keep in mind that I don't make up the insurance rates. Don't yell at me. I just convince you to believe the reason I give you for your recent rate increase is actual truth, when in fact it's probably not.

For the most part I'm tired of dealing with the general public. No matter how much I try to fake it I am not, nor have I ever been, a people person. I don't like 99% of the population that walks on this planet. Mostly because people, as a whole, suck. They are argumentative, judgmental, uneducated, and lazy. I've worked with all kinds from all over the world and I can honestly say I just don't like the human race.

While I would love nothing more than to have a job where I can sit in front of a computer all day and type menial and mind numbing shit without ever having to deal with another human being all day we all know that just can't happen. You remember that movie 'The Net'? The one where she worked from home all day long doing interesting look internet-y type things? I would love that job. I would have everything delivered to my home and the only time my neighbors would see me is while I was sashaying my ass to the mailbox to pick up my sweet fat paychecks. But this isn't the movies and I'm no Sandra B.

I've applied for several jobs very very recently and I would love to have something happen soon. The jobs I've applied for have zero to do with insurance, but instead will allow me to use the skills I have gained over the years. The number one skill being able to kiss ass to those who make me money. I think I've put enough years into this business. I'm tired of kissing the ass of those who have nothing. It's time for me to move on.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Check In

Yea, I know. It's been a while.

Ya know, I think deep down I was kind of hoping this medication would be some kind of miracle pill. That I would take it every day like a good girl and BOOM! the weight would just melt off of me. Not so much. Have I lost weight since I've started taking the medication? Sure. A few pounds. It could also be my cutting back on carbs as well. Who knows. I will give the meds credit for one thing, I do feel better. I'm no longer needing to chew caffeine pills like candy or down energy drinks like water. I do have more energy, I do feel better. But it's hard to be giddy about it when it's not really doing what I wanted it to do.

I realize that I am being unreasonable. There is no miracle pill. Or drink. Or food. Or super simple 3 minutes workouts twice a week that you see plastered in magazines or online ads. It takes effort every single day to turn down that sweet, or that carb, or those empty colories. And each scale the scale inches lower. Ounce by ounce.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not downing myself here. I'm making progress, it's just slow progress. In this day and age of the I WANT IT NOW! GIMME! I know it's not healthy to lose the weight fast. It'll come off when it's ready to come off. Day by day, week by week.

I intend to enjoy my summer this year. I had a fabulous summer last year as well, but the thought of not being able to fit into that wedding dressed weighed on me like a ton. I was terrified. Absolutely terrified that I wouldn't be able to pull it off, but I did. GO ME! I still have goals I want to achieve, but I'm going to thoroughly enjoy myself this summer. I do believe that it's well deserved.