Thursday, October 29, 2009

Well, Is It?

Is it weird that even though I hate myself for scrap-booking our wedding that I get a sense of accomplishment after I finish working on a page? Six pages down, only 111ty pages to go...

Is it weird that I thank my immune system every morning when I wake up that I haven't gotten the slightest bit ill lately? With everyone around me coming down with something every day you would think that I would be lying in bed, dying a slow death but not feeling a thing thanks to the wonder that is NyQuil. All hail my immune system!

Is it weird that when I found out from a cousin that my father's mother had died last week that I didn't really feel a thing? I've only met her a handful of times in my entire life and I'm sure she was a great woman but when someone you're related to by blood just up and dies I would certainly think I would feel something about it.

Is it wrong of me to quietly cheer on the people on Twitter who call my mother out on her bullshit? There are a number of people on Twitter that loathe my mother. Mostly because she's a bigot and prefers the caps lock a little too much, but also because she never.shuts.up. I'm almost certain if she could she would "tweet" all day long. Thankfully Twitter was smart enough to put limits on the amounts of "tweets" one can "twitter" throughout the day. And with that I feel like a gigantic douche for even knowing those terms.

Is it strange that I go to a certain nail salon because the owner not only speaks perfect English but also because he works alone most of the time and I feel better knowing he's not talking about me, in a language I don't understand, to someone else?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Another Goal To Achieve

Six months ago all I wanted to do was get to the point where I could comfortably fit into my wedding dress. While I had my cheat days (and sometimes cheat weekends) I still managed to achieve my goal. And while the size I wore in Vegas was one size more than I wanted to be when we set foot on The Strip I was content with myself and what I had accomplished. I worked my ass off, literally, to get to that point.

Now it's time to move on to the next goal - being happy with myself, in a bathing suit, for the cruise.

I have 81 days before we step foot on the boat. I am giving myself 70 days to reach, what I think, is a reasonable and attainable weight amount. I have a new workout routine that seems to be working and I'm back to eating clean and healthy meals. I am absolutely determined to be one size smaller by January than I am right now.

If you'd like to know what routine I'm currently trying check out I'm focusing on the Push/Pull routine at the moment.

Monday, October 19, 2009

My Day Off And We Start Another Countdown

Have I mentioned lately how much I heart my in-laws? I'm not even kidding either. These people are absolutely amazing. We can show up any time. They feed us. They give us beer. And then? They make us laugh. A LOT. Oh and then they offer to pay for a cruise for us for a wedding gift! Yea, read that again. A 5 day cruise to the Caribbean in January. Paid for. WOOOO!

82 days to go...

I woke up this morning and I just couldn't do it. You know those days where you're sitting in bed and having that argument in your head about whether you should just get your ass up and shower or stay in bed and sleep? I did that at 6:00 this morning. The lazy-skip-working-cause-it's-Monday-and-fuck-Mondays-Mo-won. I love that Mo. She's my favorite.

Because I absolutely loathe daytime television I've been cleaning since noon. Channeling my inner Monica Gellar and Danny Tanner I'm kicking dust bunny ass today. It's amazing what you can get accomplished when you don't have that 8 hour workday getting in the way.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I Would Like Some Cheese With My Whine

It's been almost three weeks since our trip to Vegas and ever since our return I've had something gnawing at me. Like that fly that gets in your house and then dive bombs your head or lands on your Dr Pepper can, it's annoying. Infuriating even. To the point where you'd rather burn down your entire house than use a fly swatter to kill the little bastard. Or maybe it's just me and my anger management abilities.

I'm about ready to burn the mental house down.

What has been gnawing at me is my family. Specifically my mother and my grandmother. To make matters worse (or is it better? I can't tell.) is that neither of them have any inclination. It's business as usual.

I wrote about my family's lack of enthusiasm before the Vegas trip. Hell, it took them twice as long to book as it did everyone else who came along. I even said to Thomas that I just hoped, when it was all said and done, that I didn't end up regretting inviting them. I wish it wasn't the case, but a part of me does regret it.

I had such an amazing time in Las Vegas on our trip. I was surrounded by wonderful people almost constantly and I felt nothing but love from them. However, I did not feel this way when my mother and grandmother joined us, when they chose to and to be honest it wasn't very often or for very long. I wasn't concerned about their behavior or if I would be embarrassed by them. How they act is not a reflection on me, it's on them.

What bothered me was the way my mother tried to control a situation (and our vacation) when she had no right to do so. For example, when Thomas and I landed she informed me, through my sister via text message, that I was to give them a two hour notice if I wanted them to be some where. Without the two hour notice they would stay in their rooms, un-showered all day, and would not bother themselves with showing up. When I did give them several hours notice during the trip they still chose to not participate.

What bothered me was how negative and insulting and full of complaints they were. Example: "Las Vegas is too hot" "We're still on central time and at 8PM we are starving. I can't believe that you want us to wait this long to eat" "Those shoes are slutty" "I can't believe I spent this much money to get my hair done for this wedding"

What bothered me was how my mother chewed with her mouth open and talked with food in her mouth during dinner one night while sitting across from my dear friends.

What bothered me was when I told her - after only being around her for a mere 45 minutes and had already taken on several complaints and one or two insults - was that I really hoped she behaved like that the following night while she was eating the gourmet meal I was paying for.

I hit below the belt.

At the time the shock on her face and the redness in her cheeks was worth it but now that I look back on it it wasn't worth it. We were going to be surprising everyone with the meal. Originally we had asked everyone to pay for their meal at this particular restaurant but things changed and we had decided to make it a surprise for everyone instead. Unfortunately people found out here and there and only a handful didn't know. I wanted it to be a nice gift for them. A 'Thank You' for being there. For coming so far just for us. Instead my anger ruined it and it went from being a gift to more like a slap in the face.

I was angry at myself for letting them get to me. I was angry at myself for letting them attempt to ruin my night. I was grateful when the meal was finished and I chose to walk away from my grandmother and my mother. With my fake smile plastered on my face and the half-hearted hug goodbye with the statement that I was looking forward to seeing them the next day. Thankfully I was swept away by my then fiancee and gaggle of friends to celebrate our last night as two single people.

The day of the wedding my mom committed my numero UNO pet peeve - she was late. Not just once. She was late to the appointment to get her hair done. The one SHE called me and asked ME to set up for her. She was late meeting the group before the limo arrived. Her, my grandmother, and my sister walked up just as the limo was arriving and then seemed to be irritated at me because I did not immediately tell her how pretty I thought she was. Instead of her telling me how beautiful she thought I was in my wedding dress all done up (with perfect hair AND make-up may I add) the attention had to be put on her. When we came back to the hotel to wait for dinner she insisted on returning back to her own hotel so my grandmother could change clothes. I had told her over and over and OVER again to be there shortly before 6PM to be seated for dinner. 6 arrived and all of us were seated at the table. My family was not there. Of course they weren't. Even though she had almost two HOURS to do whatever it was she had to do she was still late. They eventually waltzed in around 15 after 6. I will refrain from going into how she had a conversation at the dinner table with my in-laws about a subject that I expressly and courteously asked her not to have. One in which she promised me she would not broach.

By the time the trip was over I had had my fill of my mother. I was angry, and obviously I'm still angry. We haven't really spoken since we both came home. She's gone back to her constant ranting about politics and I've gone on doing what I was doing before Vegas. This past weekend Thomas and I went to a store and carefully picked out large and beautiful frames for our families. Tomorrow I will mail out a framed photo to my mother and my grandmother along with a thank you note telling them how grateful we are that they came to be with us on our wedding day. I want them to know that even though they did not live up to whatever expectations I had set for them inside my own mind I did appreciate the effort they put forth to actually get out of the house and come to our wedding.

I realize that I'm kind of being a big baby about this whole thing. I mean really, who doesn't really dislike their parents from time to time? This is nothing new, especially for me, but it needed to be said. I needed to get it off my chest and hopefully when I put these words out there I can finally lay it to rest and move on. I will eventually get over this, it'll just take some time.

In the end our wedding and our trip was wonderful, magical even. The people we love, and who love us back, were there 100% in spirit and it showed. For those of you who read this and were there, thank you. Thank you for supporting us. Thank you for snapping me out of it and reminding me that Thomas and I were there for ourselves and were there for fun. Thank you for distracting me with shiny things and alcohol and for making me laugh even as I was crying. Thank you thank you thank you.

P.S. And thank you to Thomas for not telling me to suck it up but instead listening to me rant, holding me when I cried, and for being a wonderful husband even before we said "I do".

Monday, October 12, 2009

Eff Em Elle

It started out so innocently.

"I think I'll have some pictures printed from the trip to Vegas and make us a nice photo album!"

Then it got bigger...

Cashier at Michael's after spending two hours searching for an album and then stickers and then card stock and then glue and then frames,

"That'll be $189.00, please."

Now it's just gotten out of hand. I went to Hobby Lobby today on my lunch break.

Sweet Baby Jesus, help me.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Thursday Hates

Soak 'em up, people.

* Humidity in October. I swear to God it's like an effing sauna in this town. My face feels greasy constantly. Like to the point where I'm almost certain that at some point in the day I blacked out and someone poured olive oil on my face and then rubbed it with a luke warm pepperoni and cheese pizza Hot Pocket. It's FALL! The air is supposed to be crisp and I should start wearing cardigans or some shit. I should NOT feel like I'm living in some third world jungle country on the fucking equator.

* Dealing with bureaucracies while trying to change my last name. For real, this is just retarded. I've had to go to three different places and stand in lines and be near the general public with their swine flu's and their children that cry and filling out this form and that form. THIS SHOULD BE EASIER! Like you go to one place on-line, submit your marriage license and pay them whatever amount of money they want and BOOM! Your last name is changed on absolutely everything.

* People who cannot leave a proper voicemail message. Seriously? It's 2009. How is it that there are people left in this world who do not know how to slowly and CLEARLY speak their name and their telephone number? Reminder to the human race: I am NOT a mind reader and if I can't understand your message, guess what? I DON'T CALL YOU BACK, SUCKA!

* People who use the word "good" when they should use "well". "Oh yea, I did real good on that one." Ugh. Did you not pay attention in 2nd grade English class or are you just that fucking retarded? Way to make yourself sound like a true uneducated hillbilly. You're gonna go far in life.

* People who park in my covered, reserved, and PAID FOR parking space outside my apartment. I hate you. I truly truly hate you. I hate you even more at 1 in the morning when we're just getting home from an awesome night out and all I want to do is get out of the car and inhale the Taco Bell we just got and then go to bed but I can't do that can I? You know why? Because you parked in my spot and unreserved parking is SHIT in our complex and it's either risk parking in what I think MAY be an unused covered parking spot OR park on the other side of the freaking complex. I hope you enjoyed that slip of paper on your windshield from my husband that informed you how very lucky you are that you're even able to drive your car away. Next time? I hope you enjoy the brick in your driver's seat.

* Your = your. You're = you are. Your != you're. Enough said. Also, if you have a full keyboard either on your phone or at your computer...please, for the love of all that is holy and good in this world, STOP using U for you.

* The people who live above us in our apartment building. There's just the two of you and a toddler. How in the HELL is it possible for you to make SO much noise constantly? Are you doing acrobatics? Working on your jumpshot? I really don't care to know what y'all do up there but I wish you would stop. Now. My pictures on the wall are crooked and I'm almost certain that one day one of you is just going to go through the floor and land in our living room. Also? I can hear you when you snore. Get some Breathe Right, homey.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Yea, I Know. It's Been Two Days.

Do you realize how long it took me to get all of these pictures together? Like A WHOLE WORK DAY. Stealing pictures from your friends and putting them in order is hard freaking work.

I give you Viva Las Wedding! A Collection!

And if you haven't yet seen Elle's account of events then please do yourself a favor and read it NOW. She kissed Roy Orbison! *Heh*

I'm still processing the events from the weekend in my head. So much was happening and THANK GOD people who were more sober than myself were taking pictures so that I can go back and see what was really going on around me. We're still expecting more pictures from other friends as well and I can't wait to add them to our collection.