Write That Down

I'm going to preface* this entire story by saying that there were very few pictures taken during the latest SWMH Club meeting. We were busy. Very busy. What with all the drinking and laughing and the talking, but it's not the pictures that matter, it's the memories. Even if those memories aren't of club hopping or singing bad karaoke. Memories are made by making numerous trips to the convenience store and one very important trip to Walmart. Memories are made sitting on the back porch and telling stories that make us all laugh until we cry. Photos aren't the most important things, friendship is.

Isn't that THE best excuse for not taking a shitload of photos ever??

As I sat in the airport waiting to leave a guy sat down across from me and then proceeded to make my eyes bleed.



Those are BLACK ankle socks. With brown slip on shoes. BLACK. WITH BROWN. And khaki SHORTS with a green shirt! As you can see, he's not wearing a wedding band because no woman would marry someone who dresses like that and even if she did she would NEVER have let him leave the house like that.

When I arrived in Phoenix I was greeted by an already crying Princess (you owe me $5 Thomas) and we did the whole run to each other and hug each other thing and I didn't even care if people thought we were lesbians.

Since we weren't heading to Tucson until much later in the day we headed to a local restaurant and proceeded to sip on this:



Yes, my friends, that is a bacon bloody mary and it was divine.

Soon we were in Tucson and we were all together! Finally! And we even had a new member joining us this time around. The time seems to fly when we're all together. It's almost as if the universe knows that we don't get to see each other very often and plays a cruel joke on us by speeding up time.

Before I knew it it was time to leave. Time to say goodbye to my wonderful friends and head back home. Tears were shed and I was heart broken. Eight months of not seeing each other is too long and God knows when I'll see them again.

To Slick, Spike, and Snoop - Thank you for such a fantastic weekend. Thank you for making me laugh until my face hurt. Thank you for my gifts and thank you for your friendship. I love you guys.





* LOL

Suck It, Winter

The settling in to the new place is coming along quite nicely. We finally took some time to hang some stuff on the walls and even went furniture shopping. Surprisingly we both agreed on a numerous amount of living sets and more than likely we'll be buying in the near future.



No matter where we live there will always be a place in our home for this sign.

Every time I look at it I am instantly reminded of my girls, Elle and Princess. I miss y'all. *weep*

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After a week of moving and unpacking and bickering we decided a night on the town with friends was needed. The best Chinese food in town, beers, good friends, and laughs was soul healing.





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Me: Hey! Wouldn't it be great if we had under cabinet lights in the kitchen? It would be so nice!

Thomas: Yea, sure. I can do that.



Two trips to Home Depot, a few curse words, and four hours later...



It's absolutely beautiful and I am THRILLED with the outcome. However, we both came to a mutual decision that there would be no way in HELL we would take them with us when we eventually move. Those suckers are in there FO LIFE.

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Thomas and I aren't big football fans and decided to pass on the watching of The Super Bowl. BUT, we did take advantage of the 50 nuggets for $10 deal. BEHOLD!



That right there is a box full of fat filled and delicious lovin'. And before you even ask, yes we did split it and no we did not split the fries. Thomas got us our OWN fries. Super sized. Because I do not, I repeat, I DO NOT share fries. I don't care if you're my best friend, a homeless starving person on the street, or the man I vowed to spend the rest of my life with. I will not share my fries with you.

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I am a simple person when it comes to jewelry. I like classic designs, silver or white gold, and beautiful pieces that will go with almost anything. My friend Tracy at Minty Mocha Designs has a great on-line jewelry store where she makes each piece by hand. She even gives the pieces cute names!



One day she posted these and I absolutely HAD to have them. Her, being super awesome, sent them to me right away and they are adorable. They are a bit smaller than they appear which only makes me love them more. Fantastic job, Tracy!

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Um, I would like to know who in the holy HELL told Texas that it was winter. Because this is some bullshit.





It's been snowing all day. Literally. And according to our local news we all just may die. But see, this crap is exactly why I moved to Texas from Missouri. To AVOID snow. However, winter has made me it's bitch this year. Yes, I know that other parts of the country have been absolutely DUMPED on recently and they're out of power and food and blah blah but really, I expected better from my state.

Stay warm, folks.

Things I Learned While on Vacation

1. Never ever take a cruise in the dead of winter. My luck is such that an unusual cold snap will take over most of the country and our counterparts to the South. This makes for cold road trips, cold ocean water, and choppy water conditions.

Also, I am apparently prone to sea-sickness when on a boat that rocks back and forth like me on a drunken binge.


Note the jackets on and red tipped noses. We may be on a boat but we're freezing our asses off.


2. There's always a reason why something is just a tad too cheap. I swear to the sweet baby Jesus himself being on that ship was like being in a floating Walmart for five days. Babies screaming, kids running, horribly ugly women walking around in their housecoats and slippers. It was like all the trailer parks in Texas got together on one ship to ravage the all-you-can-gorge buffet and take part in the embarrassing karaoke version of "My Humps". The food on the ship was incredibly "meh" and it was more about quantity rather than quality. Then again after seeing how some of my fellow cruisers were wolfing down the food like it was their last day on earth I wouldn't be surprised if there was an emergency case of Wolf Brand chili and hotdogs somewhere hidden just in case we ran out of food and the hungry hillbilly natives got restless.


Thomas enjoying one of the more finer foods on board the ship - soft serve ice cream FTW!


3. After a full and sickening day at sea getting off the ship and getting drunk with strangers is glorious. Also, duty free shopping is one of my new favorite past-times. Buying Mexican Camel Lights for $15.00 a carton made me shed a tear of happiness.


At this particular beach break the Coronas were "all-you-can-drink", so I did.


4. We may be a bunch of white people but we can sure as shit shake a tail feather when we're three sheets to the wind.












5. Towel creatures are fucking creepy.











6. Cruise booze is expensive. A bucket of four beers will cost you a whopping $22.00. $22.00! For FOUR BEERS! A MaiTai will run you about $8.75 and a double Jack and Coke will require you to give up your first born. However, taking photos of yourself with those little umbrellas behind your ears is priceless and extremely hilarious, when you're drunk.










7. After spending hundreds upon hundreds of dollars in booze on the ship when they offer you free drinks for an hour TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT.








8. I am the motherfucking QUEEN of the self-portrait.












9. The more the merrier. I love my husband, I love my in-laws, and I love my friends. This vacation was just what the doctor ordered for all of us. Were there some rough times on the trip? Sure, if you count the sea sickness and the horrible food and the cold and the cabin fever. But in the end we all made each other laugh. We all had a fabulous time. In fact, we were having such a fabulous time that we ended up adopting more people into our group who saw how much fun WE were having and just had to join us. What can I say? We're likable people.














10. No matter what, sunny beach breaks with unlimited drinks makes everything a-okay in my book.










11. Turning 29 isn't so bad when you get to spend it with the ones that you heart the most. A pot of melted chocolate REALLY helps as well and then maybe a beer or 20.