Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Guns And Beer

You may be thinking to yourself that guns and beer is just a bad mixture. It usually leads to someone getting a toe shot off and is bound to end up like a good episode of 'Cops', but that didn't happen to me. Only because I'm not completely white trash and because the guns and the beer were done on separate days.

Ah, Oktoberfest. And you're only seeing a small part of it! Thank God for the Germans.

German hat, German beer.
I think this picture speaks for itself.

The mid-way. I heart carnies!

Eatin a turkey leg
Inside the huge ass food tent. Live polka music, a turkey leg, a beer, and air conditioning. I was a happy girl.

First beer of the day
See that beer right there? I had four of those that day. Ouchie.

It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!
While walking through the mid-way (pretty well toasted at this point) I eyed this banana and immediately said, "PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!"* Thomas vowed to return to the booth and win his woman that damned banana. As you can see, he succeeded. My hero.

Because Thomas and I are such fans of overpaying for beer and food and being in the hot Texas sun for hours at a time we thought it would be a great idea to attend another Oktoberfest. Unfortunately this one was much smaller and the beer wasn't near as awesome in it's German-kick-ass-ness.

Smaller cups, pretty much the same price, and it wasn't Paulaner. Big strike against this particular Oktoberfest. However, you drink enough of those little ones and you really don't give a shit anymore.

Old men in short pants and suspenders. How cute.

This is what happens when I'm exposed to heat and too much beer. You put a fuzzy cat toy in front of my face and I bat at it.

This festival was held in a newly re-built downtown square of my town. Mom & Pop candy stores, boutiques, drug stores, courthouse, and awesome little restaurants. Sometimes living in an older smallish town has it's advantages.

Kimberly and I
This is one of my main bitches, Kimberly. I heart her, even when she's a whore.

Okay! Enough polka dancing and beer drinking...on with the guns!

OMG LOOK! It's me with my pink gun and matching ear muff thingies! SQUEEEEEE!

Someone isn't used to a cute girly-type gun.

Yea, that's more like it.

Srsly, I'm so ready to be a Charlie's Angel.

See? Look! My aim is pretty good too! Well, kinda.

Now that's a fine lookin' family portrait right there.

And that's a fine lookin' couple too.

For more photos follow the linkage...

Oktoberfest(s) 2008

*If you aren't aware of the awesomeness that is PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME then go ahead and smack yourself upside your head and then watch this...

I dare you to keep yourself from humming this for the rest of your day. I don't think it's possible.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Dammit, I Like Pink

I didn't realize until very recently that my last three major kick-ass purchases happened to involve the color pink somehow.

I Has!

A pink iPod, a pink phone, and a pink gun - what more could a girl ask for?

I'm thinking the fondness for pink is starting to get out of control...

Have a great weekend, y'all. Pics next week of me shooting my gun and of the two different Oktoberfests that T-Dogg and I have attended. What can I say? We like beer.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Of Course I Took Pictures

Seriously, it's been just crazy, y'all. Since the merger and creation of R&S, Inc. we have been non-stop.

We now have three, count 'em 1-2-3, puppeh dogs in the apartment. Small, medium, and large (with a side of dumb). Walking all three at the same time all while maintaining peace and sanity have proved to be challenging but we are making improvements every day. Delighla has found a buddy in Bailey and I have found a snuggle buddy in Tank. Thomas is none-too-pleased that his dog has jumped ship and is now all about the Mo though. But can you blame the poor dog? I certainly cannot for I know how irresistable I can be. And lookit how cute he is...

Other than the regular adjustments that come along with living with someone new life is spectacular. Oh sure there was that time when he took complete control over the TV and stopped my recording of a 'Will & Grace' re-run on the DVR without asking me and then I had to say, "Uh dude? WTF?". He said, "Oh, haven't you seen all these?" and then I said, "Nope, and next time at least ask me if it's okay to stop the recording" and then he says, "Okay". Then there was the time when I bought a gun and he took it apart within 30 seconds of it being out of the packaging and I SWEAR I didn't think he was going to get it back together again and I was watching him fiddle with it, all scared because HELLO it was my gun and now it's all broken and I'm sad and when he finally got it back together again he asked me if I had been nervous about him not being able to fix it and I said, "Yes, only because I don't think you want to take that back to the dealer I bought it from and say, 'Sir, can you fix this? I broke my girlfriend's PINK girly gun'". Needless to say he didn't find that visual as amusing as I did. But you know what? I am one happy mofo. He brings me lillies that smell so good that they'll make your panties drop and he makes me delicious food and he rubs my feet and he puts his dirty clothes in the hamper. I'll take all that over a deleted tv show any day of the week.

Wait...what? Oh that's right, I forgot to mention...

I bought the gun! The pink one! And I don't care if the guy who sold it to me gave me shit it still goes BANG.


I Has!

Photos to come of me actually shooting this beauty. It shall be glorious.

Now, the gun show. Wow. Just wow. I thought the last one Thomas and I went to was interesting. LOLOLOLOLOL no. Words cannot do this event justice, only photos...

Inappropriate use of quotation marks
Don't worry, I've already submitted this to The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks.

This guy made me LOL
Now this guy? Whoa. We weren't sure if we should salute him or laugh at him. We chose laughing at him after we heard him speak with an Austrailian accent.

I would've taken more photos but I had to go all secret squirrel just to get those two. Apparently they frown on photos being taken of weapons or some bullcrap like that. I'm sure it's because of the terrorists. They're always ruining my fun.

Thursday, September 18, 2008


OMG, blogging from my phone.

Welcome to the 21st century, Mo. ::eyeroll::

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Because It's Funny, And Also True

At work, filling out some mundane annual paperwork to verify my employment with a large insurance corporation:

Me: Hey Z, there's a place for me to fill out my marital status. What should I list?

Z: Are you still married?

Me: Well yea, but not for long.

Z: Hmm...I'm not sure.

S (other co-worker): You should list "MTTDB".

Me: WTF does that mean?

S: Married, temporarily, to douche bag.

Me. Bwahahaahahaha!

Monday, September 15, 2008

Mergers And Acquisitions

Over the weekend I acquired a couple of new roommates. They both have numerous amounts of pros and both seemed to have taken to their new surroundings quite well. Making oneself comfortable in a strange environment can be difficult at times but it seems we have avoided that issue all together.

Both roommates are cuddly, warm, sweet, affectionate, funny, and quite handsome. However, only one of the roommates can curl up into a ball and fall asleep on my leg...

My new little buddy

On the other hand, the other roommate makes a mean Sloppy Joe, doesn't require a leash to be taken to the bathroom, and looks adorable dozing off on the couch.

I think I'll keep them both.

Friday, September 12, 2008

I Love Pressies

Someone knows exactly how to combine two of my favorite things into one gift. Shiny pretty things and smoking.


Mmm...smokey treats

Me thinks I'm getting a tad spoiled these days.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Who Moved My Cheese?

I can't help but wonder to myself on a daily basis what else could possibly happen to me this year. Every day it seems that I am coming up on more and more change in my life. Some good, some really freaking fantastic, and very few are not so great.

I took another step toward the dissolution of my marriage yesterday. The initial divorce papers have been signed and notarized and now just wait to be filed with the court. I signed those papers without any hesitation. I signed them with a smile on my face. I signed them with zero regret.

I made a comment to my co-worker when I returned to my office about how strange it was that I started 2008 married, with a house, three cats, and too much weight on my ass. 2009 will be completely different though. No longer married (hopefully), in an apartment, no cats, and less one entire Olsen twin from my waistline. The difference between me and some other people is that I chose to embrace that change in my life. I welcomed it with open arms, took it out for a drink or two, and even called it the next morning. I love the change. I love the difference in me and what it has brought me.

It is because of all of this that I have stumbled into something that still takes my breath away when I think about it. Another change is coming. The future is about to begin, and it's happening very soon.

Friday, September 5, 2008


A year ago this month my life started to change. For better or for worse it was real and it was terrifying and it was exhilarating all at the same time. I knew then that at some time in the very near future my world would turn upside down and would never be the same. I was right.

I can't seem to get my thoughts straight. The words I want to say are right on the tips of my fingers. I want to write about how good things are right now but it's difficult. Maybe it's fear. Fear that if I actually let those words loose into the atmosphere (or cyberspace, whichever) that the happiness I feel will be ripped away from me. That if it's spoken, it'll be gone. Another irrational fear on my part.

I find myself constantly amazed at life these days. Amazed at how good it feels to be appreciated for who I am and for what I do. The little things are noticed and mentioned. The affection is plentiful and not something to be used as a reward that when I'm good I receive it and when I'm not it's taken away like a child TV privileges. There are no more worries about dealing with someone who may or may not fly off the handle at any time. No more worries about whether or not the person I'm with is really having a good time or is just faking it and then dealing with the consequences of their misery later. There are no worries. For the first time I am not subconsciously scared of someone.

I am loved. Loved for who I am and what I've become. Loved as I am, no strings attached. No ulterior motives, no questions. No more being ashamed of what I am or where I come from. I am me and I am accepted. As if I've found the Ying to my Yang, my missing piece. As corny as it may sound, I don't even care, I am complete.

There are those who caution me to be careful with my heart. It's fragile and no matter how I try to act hard and badass-like, so is the rest of me. I appreciate those who know me best when they tell me to be careful. It's out of love that they say it. They've seen me hurt. They've been there when I was at my worst and I didn't think I could go on. No one wants to see their friend in pain but at the same time I have to swing for the fences. I can't be scared and I can't keep myself guarded.

I took a chance, a big risk, and it's paid off.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Road Trips Are For The Win

It would be impossible for me to detail exactly what went down over this past Labor Day weekend. There was just so very much said and done. Suffice it to say, it rocked like no other.

What do you get when you combine me and three extremely funny people with beer, a raft, music, and a river? This...

River Trip

There were drunk half naked people, there were mariachis, there were long road trip conversations about the future, there was laughter, and the meeting of new friends. It was a fantabulous time and a weekend I can assure you that I will never forget.