Tuesday, December 30, 2008

My Year In Pictures - 2008 Edition

January -

Everything changed for me. My life, my body, my way of thinking - all different in one month. Life, at the time, seemed like it was out to get me, that I would never recover. Thankfully there were those people who were there for me when I needed them the most.

February -

With the house up for sale and me not going to school I spent a good amount of time away from home. Going out with friends, celebrating birthdays, and living life the way I wanted.

March -

Feeling like a 21 year-old with no responsibilities rebellion set in big time. Partying in Austin, out drinking with friends, and getting my first tattoo. Having fun for the first time in a very very long time. And sometimes a little too much fun.

April -

I flew out to Arizona to meet my girls Princess and Elle and had one of the greatest weekends of my life. Drinking, talking, drinking, laughing, drinking, and karaoke. Workboot, bojangle, lepracorn. To my Superwomen, thank you thank you thank you and I love you both. You rock my face off.

May -

With the house finally sold it was time for me to move out and on my own. I sold most of what I had in the house and moved the rest, along with Delighla, into my very first apartment.

June -

Dessert.  Sweet baby Jesus this was amazing.

Dallas, spaced out

Living on my own, enjoying the apartment pool, hitting some clubs with friends, and loving summertime. My good friend Lise came all the way from New York just to visit me. I so needed that and I cannot thank her enough for what she has done for me.

July -

Another trip to Arizona for SWMH Club -Part The Thrice! Hanging with my girls was good for the soul. Then there was dating and concerts and the beginning of something very special and very unexpected.

August -


The cuteness

Mariachi band!

Enjoying the last few weeks of summer, falling in love, and making new friends. A river trip that created awesome memories and nights out that I will never forget.

September -

Typical male

Lookit how cute we are

Kimberly and I

I acquired a couple of new roommates and have never been happier. Going to parties, Oktoberfests with friends, every weekend was jam-packed with fun.

October -


The "Windex" was quite yummy

With summer officially over, and after waiting over a year and a half, I finally went back home to Missouri for a visit. Thomas met my family and they instantly fell in love with him. I can't blame them really, I did the same. At the end of the month was a Halloween party and a costume prop that was wildly popular.

November -

Divorce flowers

November felt like it flew by in a matter of hours instead of weeks. On the go constantly it was a blur of parties, nights out, and then Thanksgiving. I spent Thanksgiving with Thomas and his family and was welcomed with open arms. For the first time in a very long time I was accepted by my significant other's family, without question.

December -

Yea baby!



Awwww....we are so cute

What a fantastic way to end such an incredible year. With parties to attend and Christmas fast approaching December was gone in a flash. Shopping for gifts for friends and family, a trip to Missouri, and playing with all of our new toys from Christmas. A Christmas that I'll never forget. Now it's on to New Years...there will be mucho celebration.

I'm sure I sound like a broken record at this point but I don't care. I'm still in total shock over how much has changed this year. Everything is different and I couldn't be happier. My grandmother told me in January that within six months my life would be different, better. So much better that I wouldn't even look back. I didn't believe her at the time but I know now. I don't even care when she tells me "I told you soooo" because it was all worth it. The pain in the beginning was made into happiness in the present and hope for the future. There is so much to look forward to in the new year. New friends to meet, old friends to see, and new memories that will be made. Absolutely anything is possible for 2009 and I cannot wait to see what it has in store for me.

I wish everyone a very safe and a very Happy New Year.

Monday, December 29, 2008


I am not even kidding about that either. It's hard to know where to begin really. There was a ton of gifts (some better than others *cough*DIAMOND EARRINGS*cough*) and there was a ton of food (enough to feed a damn army) and there was crying over special gifts given and then the laughing so hard that you cry over gag gifts and just a fantastic time in general.

So many times before I have been disappointed on Christmas, not necessarily because of what I received (although that didn't always help) but because of the people I was surrounded by. I hadn't spent a Christmas at home in so very very long and being with my family and with Thomas just made me so very happy. I am so grateful for everything my family did for me and I'm even more grateful for what Thomas gave to me. But it wasn't just about the gifts (don't get me wrong the gifts were freaking awesome) it was about the entire experience. All of us being together, having a good time, and happy. It was more than worth the time and money I put into the gifts and was definitely worth the drive up to Missouri. This was a Christmas I will never ever forget as long as I live.

Christmas 2008 - in pictures

Monday, December 22, 2008

ZOMFGWTFBBQ!!! It's Almost Christmas!!

Once again I am in shock that another holiday is upon us. Not just upon us but right on our asses and breathing down our necks. All of the Christmas presents have been wrapped and I've got a list in my head of what needs to be packed for our trip to Missouri. A dog-sitter has been found for Miss Delighla and there's very little that needs to be done now except to get the car packed up and to get our butts to Kansas City.

To those who celebrate it, have a very Merry Christmas. I hope Santa brings everyone what they really wanted. To those who don't, have a Happy Christmakwanzakkuah and stuff anyways.

Friday, December 19, 2008


I came home to a HUGE box from my homegirls Princess and Elle. There is NOTHING better than coming home to presents!! So I open up the box and dig through all of the packing material (it was a shit ton. Trust a bitch.) and see an awesome note from Princess saying how much she lurves me. AWWWWWWWW! Here's my loot!


It's a SWMH Club Fo SHO t-shirt (she had it made for me even though I couldn't make it back in October) and an awesome frame with a pictar of Princess and I looking super HAWT and a gorgeous wind chime from Elle!!


Princess and Elle,

Thank you SOOOOOO much!!! You are the two bestest friends a girl could ever have! I am so very very thankful to have met you and to have you both in my life. You are truly two of the most wonderful women I have ever met and are an inspiration to me. Your hearts are as big as your alcohol tolerance and the love you show is overwhelming. I could never ever repay you two for what you've given to me this year but I will do my best to try. Thank you again for my gifts. You rock my face off. For serious.


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Santa Doesn't Give You Your Dignity Back For Christmas

I spent the first half of this past Monday evening like I usually do. Come home, have dinner, watch TV with Thomas, and just chill after another tedious Monday at the office. I enjoy what we do in the evenings, which is usually a whole lotta nothin'. Our weekends tend to be jam-packed and during the week it's nice to just sit and veg together.

Imagine my surprise when I got a text message from the ex. A (self -admitted) drunk text at 8:30 in the evening could only mean one thing: booty call. At first I laughed and decided to ignore it but curiosity got the better of both Thomas and I and we decided to have a little fun with it. A nasty text message back to him prompted more from him in return. Text messages that were inappropriate and downright dumb. The text messages turned into a phone call and then another phone call, all of which was heard by Thomas. T and I got some good laughs out of the whole ordeal, especially when Mike started to wax not-so-poetically about his undying love for me and what a mistake he had made in leaving me in the first place. Oh what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive...

Eventually I tired of his bullshit and after hearing him hit his car on a couple of curbs I reminded him that driving on ice, while intoxicated, wasn't a very good idea and hung up the phone. When it was all said and done I felt nothing but disgust and pity for the man. He was testing me, he was trying my patience, and I gave him nothing in return. Oh, don't get me wrong, I took the opportunity to hurl a few insults towards him and the woman he left me for. I have to admit that it felt good, satisfying even, to say what I've been wanting to say for almost a year now. How he didn't make me happy, how I am a different person now...it all fell on deaf ears though. All he knew was at that moment I was unavailable to him. He couldn't have me and he never will again. That right there is what eats at him the most. He has had to settle for a new life that he wanted in the beginning but now it's not looking so great.

The grass really isn't greener on the other side, right? In his case this would be correct, in mine it isn't. I informed Mike that Thomas and I were living together, that we were even considering marriage. This didn't phase him much. I answered his question honestly when he asked me if I'm happier now than I was when I was with him. I am happier. I am more me than I have ever been. He should try doing the same with his girlfriend as well. His girlfriend who would do anything for him yet he bashed her just the same as I did.

I received a short email from Mike this morning apologizing for his behavior. I didn't respond. When I told him that night that all I want from him is the divorce, I meant it and I have nothing more to say to him. I have moved on with my life and I have so much to look forward to in the future. The future I am planning for myself and the future Thomas and I are planning together. I am looking forward to finally putting that marriage fully behind me and that means never hearing from that sad sad little man ever again. My divorce flowers from my girls have bloomed and are a wonderful reminder that very very soon this will all be over with.

Divorce flowers - Take 2

Friday, December 12, 2008

Another Reason To Heart Teh Intarwebz

Remember this photo from a recent trip to a gun show here in Dallas?

Inappropriate use of quotation marks

Yea, it made it on to The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks!

I think my e-fame status just got bumped up a notch or two. lulz

Thursday, December 11, 2008

How About A Post Where I Don't Bitch And Moan?

Alright so I've been a little cranky this week. With work being dead, Christmas very very close, cold weather, not getting my way when it came to the divorce date, and being sick I've been a little on edge. I do my best not to let that crankiness spill over at home and at work but I know that I've slipped up here and there.

In all honesty I am looking forward to going to Missouri for Christmas. The thought of Thomas and I spending our first Christmas together, hanging out with my family who adores him, and hopefully waking up to snow on Christmas morning almost makes me giddy. I can't wait to see him open his gifts and I can't wait to see what he's gotten for me. Sometimes it's hard for me to think of Christmas without being miserable. I've spent the last several Christmas' at home, bored, and going out of my mind because I was surrounded by people that could care less about me. That won't be the case this year or the next or the next and I need to realize that. Old habits die hard but I'm working on it.

So in order to get myself into full-on Christmas mode I've been watching youtube vids today (yea I know, I work real hard around here) and these are just a few that I've found.

Have a favorite Christmas youtube vid?? Post it up!!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Christmas Spirit? Yea, I Got Your Christmas Spirit Right Here.

I promised my Grandmother I would be "home" for Christmas this year. Since I would be single and without in-laws this year (Thank the Lord in Heaven for that too) I told her I would be there with jingle-jingle-bells on. If it was possible for me to beat myself up for something telling them I would be there would be a good reason for a self ass whooping. Not to mention a string of other bad ideas I've had in the past 27 years.

For the past few years I had a perfectly good agreement with my family. You don't get me anything and I won't get you anything. See how that works? IT'S WIN/WIN FOR EVERYONE! That sooooo wasn't going to happen this year and for the past few weeks I've been wracking my brain thinking up gifts for these people. These people who already have everything they could possibly want. These people who make it their goal in life to be difficult to buy for. These people who when asked what they would like for Christmas they respond with, "Oh honey, you don't have to get us anything!". Yea effing right, Grandma. Just pony up the scoop on what you want and I'll buy it! Do I get that though? Hell to the nizzo. So because she refuses to give me any good ideas for herself she'll just have to be happy with the fact that I showed up on Christmas and that I care about her cat's digestive system.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


There are several downsides to working with people who have small children at home. Other than the standard blah blah bullcrap that you have to hear about on a daily basis ("Oh my goodness, little Johnny said just the most ADORABLE thing last night at dinner." Eyeroll eyeroll eyeroll eyeroll) there is the chance that at some point you will be infected with some sort of disease thanks to them.

You have to admit, kids are pretty gross. They don't cover their mouths when they cough or sneeze, they pick their noses, and they shit on themselves for the first 2 to 3 years of their life. They are small cheeky bundles of walking germ infestation. I'm saying all of this because I am sick. Sick sick sick. And I'm putting the blame solely on the people I work with and their spawn because it's my blog and I'll do whatever I want.

Moving right along...

The Christmas parties on Friday and Saturday were both a success. Thomas and I looked lovely on Friday night and spent the evening rubbing elbows with his co-workers and also making fun of the drunk people/uncoordinated people on the dance floor. There was a decent mixture of both. I would like to tell you that I have pictures of the evening but I do not. I do, however, have a picture of myself with Santa (dude had a real beard and all. I even tugged on it.) but I seemed to have brought my extra chin with me that night so that's a big n-o.

I did manage to stay sober at the party (at $6.75 for a Bacardi and Coke I couldn't even afford to get a decent buzz going) and we got home at a decent hour. The next morning was my office party that's held at my boss' ranch each year. A ranch that is almost an hour drive from the apartment. Such a far distance away that I even questioned the decision to go outloud in the car on the way for just lunch and a $100 cash bonus. "Lunch better be good", I told Thomas.

We managed to make it out to the ranch on time and being the only two people there without children both Thomas and I stood and watched as the kids were let loose to run and scream and cry all they wanted. I call it Visual Birth Control and it's quite effective. After lunch some of us made our way out to the fields to do a little shooting (what? you don't bring your guns to your company Christmas party?) and beer drinking. The party was great and it was by far the best I've ever been to since working at my office. The Bailey's in my coffee, the extra $100 cash bonus, and the man by my side made it even better.

Oh and of course there were photos!

Mo's Office Christmas Party -08'! Guns, kids, cows, and liquor - a photo set!

Friday, December 5, 2008

A Little Bit Of This And A Little Bit Of That

Today is December 5th and I am not yet divorced. Yup, you read that right. I was supposed to be officially divorced by December 1st. Obviously, that didn't happen.

Earlier this week I received a phone call from my soon-to-be-ex-husband informing me that, due to scheduling conflicts and work issues, he would be unable to make the 20 minute drive to the courthouse in order for a judge to finally release me from my marital bond to an absolute moron. I asked him how long was I going to have to wait. He told me not until the beginning of the new year.

Yea...that didn't go over well.

One of my mottos has always been, "If you want something done right you better do it yourself". I should've stuck with that way of thinking. See, I figured that because he was the one who initiated the separation that he would be the one who would be itching to get this divorced final. That come hell or high water he would want to be rid of me for good. Apparently, I was wrong. I nagged him til I was blue in the face about starting the proceedings. I stayed on him about getting the paperwork turned in at the appropriate times and I was the one who informed him that he needed to stand before a judge in order to finalize the divorce. I want to be D-O-N-E done done fucking done with this marriage, like right now.

Insert stomping of feet, temper tantrum thrown, and bottom lip sticking out.

To my soon-to-be-ex-husband,

A not so happy birthday to you, asshat. May your hair continue to fall out and you never lose that gut you inherited from your father. May you spawn a dozen children who are all as condescending and lazy as you, and as hideous as the creature that you mated with.

All the best,
Your soon-to-be-(thank God Almighty) ex-wife

P.S. I faked. A lot.

Ahem and moving on...

Tonight is Thomas' company Christmas party. Food, cash bar, and the two of us looking dayum good should make for a mighty fine time. Pictures will be taken, of course. I would normally ask that you pray that I don't get tore up and make an ass of myself but with a cash bar that is soooo not going to happen.


Last, but certainly not least, while watching TV last night Tank The Awesome Chihuahua jumped on Thomas' lap and as he was climbing over him to get to me he farted directly in Thomas' face. Seriously. Tank was all *jump, hop, POOT, jump* and the look on Thomas' face was absolutely priceless. I laughed so hard that I almost pissed myself.

I'm blogging about this for three reasons:

1. It's funny to think about a 4lb Chihuahua blowing ass.
2. Thomas should get used to me using him for humorous blogging material.
3. I like to think Tank did it out of pure revenge for all of the times the poor innocent creature has been sound asleep laying between both of us and has awoken to a wall of stink thanks to Thomas' assplosions. REVENGE WILL BE HIS DAMMIT!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Good Luck, Ace

I've been to Vegas once and I've been to a few different casinos here and there but for some reason I was always imitated by the blackjack tables. It could've been that I was young and inexperienced, or it could've been because of the people I was with. I just couldn't bring myself to slap my money down on a blackjack table and take the risk. Instead I opted to sit in front of a slot machine for hours at a time and whittle away my money one nickle at a time. I was constantly missing out on playing my favorite game because of fear.

Saturday evening Thomas and I took off with his aunt and father to Oklahoma. Armed with $120 each I was well aware that it was completely possible that I would walk out of the casino $120 lighter. It's all for entertainment, right? I'll just go ahead and cut to the chase - I lost $100 of my money and I didn't get a single secret squirrel shot of the casino, but you know what I did do? I did have one of the best times of my life, sitting at a blackjack table deciding whether to hit or to stay. Sure I made some bad calls but that's why it's called gambling.

I left the casino exhausted, reeking of smoke, and extremely over-stimulated but I was happy. I was happy that I finally got to play blackjack, I was happy to be in the company of some great people, and I was happy to have a new memory. In my humble opinion, it was well worth the $100.