Santa Doesn't Give You Your Dignity Back For Christmas

I spent the first half of this past Monday evening like I usually do. Come home, have dinner, watch TV with Thomas, and just chill after another tedious Monday at the office. I enjoy what we do in the evenings, which is usually a whole lotta nothin'. Our weekends tend to be jam-packed and during the week it's nice to just sit and veg together.

Imagine my surprise when I got a text message from the ex. A (self -admitted) drunk text at 8:30 in the evening could only mean one thing: booty call. At first I laughed and decided to ignore it but curiosity got the better of both Thomas and I and we decided to have a little fun with it. A nasty text message back to him prompted more from him in return. Text messages that were inappropriate and downright dumb. The text messages turned into a phone call and then another phone call, all of which was heard by Thomas. T and I got some good laughs out of the whole ordeal, especially when Mike started to wax not-so-poetically about his undying love for me and what a mistake he had made in leaving me in the first place. Oh what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive...

Eventually I tired of his bullshit and after hearing him hit his car on a couple of curbs I reminded him that driving on ice, while intoxicated, wasn't a very good idea and hung up the phone. When it was all said and done I felt nothing but disgust and pity for the man. He was testing me, he was trying my patience, and I gave him nothing in return. Oh, don't get me wrong, I took the opportunity to hurl a few insults towards him and the woman he left me for. I have to admit that it felt good, satisfying even, to say what I've been wanting to say for almost a year now. How he didn't make me happy, how I am a different person now...it all fell on deaf ears though. All he knew was at that moment I was unavailable to him. He couldn't have me and he never will again. That right there is what eats at him the most. He has had to settle for a new life that he wanted in the beginning but now it's not looking so great.

The grass really isn't greener on the other side, right? In his case this would be correct, in mine it isn't. I informed Mike that Thomas and I were living together, that we were even considering marriage. This didn't phase him much. I answered his question honestly when he asked me if I'm happier now than I was when I was with him. I am happier. I am more me than I have ever been. He should try doing the same with his girlfriend as well. His girlfriend who would do anything for him yet he bashed her just the same as I did.

I received a short email from Mike this morning apologizing for his behavior. I didn't respond. When I told him that night that all I want from him is the divorce, I meant it and I have nothing more to say to him. I have moved on with my life and I have so much to look forward to in the future. The future I am planning for myself and the future Thomas and I are planning together. I am looking forward to finally putting that marriage fully behind me and that means never hearing from that sad sad little man ever again. My divorce flowers from my girls have bloomed and are a wonderful reminder that very very soon this will all be over with.