Sunday, December 1, 2013

And just like that, another year gone by since my last post.  God I am always amazed at how quickly time goes by.

I am trying to put myself back in time to my last post, but amazingly enough, I can't.  I'm not the same Mo I was then.  For so long I felt like I was under water, constantly swimming through muddy murky water and terrified that I would never reach the top to breathe clean air.  Thankfully time, and love, heals so much and I came up for air.

Life is so different but it's also the same.  I do the same job, I just go to a different office.  I live the same life, I just do so with fewer people in it.  Each year it seems I lose someone else.  Not necessarily due to death but due to their own choosing.  I sleep soundly every night knowing that I give everything I can to those that I love.  The personal demons those people carry within themselves cause them to fall away.  I would never intentionally hurt someone I love, but I cannot stop those who manifest issues out of thin air.  The strange thing is that even though those whom I love who distance themselves are still among the living I still grieve as though I lost them to death.  It hurts.  Deeply.  But like with any death we experience time has a way of making that pain hurt less and less.

I am not a dramatic person, even if it feels like I write that way.  My life is by most accounts very boring.  I go to my job, I come home to my amazing husband, and I try to make the most out of every day. No matter what I am blissfully happy.

Thomas and I still continue the work on our house.  We adopted another puppy earlier this year and I can honestly say that the little shit has brought me more joy and laughter than I could've ever imagined.  Thomas and I even joke how the puppy's personality so resembles my mothers that it was like she was reincarnated. He's loud, he's got gigantic teeth, he hoardes toys (whether they belong to him or not), he's incredibly sweet, and he is the most loving dog I've ever had.  He came to us at just the right time.

While there are times that I still want to pick up the phone and call my mother, while I miss her terribly, I am still beyond grateful for the life I have now.  No matter what we've all been through.  I am happy, and loved.

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