04/20/60 - 09/05/11

I buried my mother on September 24th.

That same day two years prior I saw her in Las Vegas, all smiles, prepared and excited to walk her first born down the aisle.

I buried my mother next to her father in a small cemetery that is filled with other people I have lost over the last 30 years. I hugged my family members and stood next to my husband and wept like a child. The last three weeks of sadness, frustration, and anger pouring out of me like a river. I don't remember much of the short service or what the pastor said. I just remember gripping the tiny golden urn in my hand which held a small amount of her ashes. I placed a single red rose beside her grave. My sister and I held each other and cried. All I could do was stroke her shiny brown hair and tell her that everything would be okay. One day.

I spent my 2nd wedding anniversary sorting through the last 51 years of my mother's life. Paperwork, clothing, belongings, all had to be cleared out. Tying up her loose ends will take more time than I really care to think about.

I find that I have to correct myself now. Present tense to past tense. Old habits are hard to break. But I know that everything will be okay. We will all be okay. One day.