I Never Thought Summer Would Get Here

I guess it isn't "officially" Summer yet, but I deem it so when I step outside into the sunshine and immediately begin to sweat like a whore in church with a condom in her pocket. Which is a lot. I also wear good deodorant so, ya know, it's safe to stand next to me.

I've been such a slacker when it comes to the gym lately. I've also been eating horribly and drinking beer like it's going out of style. You know what I'm trying to say here right? Yes, I'm trying to say that I've gained weight. Not an extreme amount of weight but enough that when I walk by a full length mirror I think to myself that if I had ever wanted kids that I would make a fabulous pregnant chick. I have no excuses this time, I just got lazy. Hell I'm still lazy but at least I give a shit. Kinda.

Thomas and I started this week going back to our old routine of eating healthy and getting to the gym every night. We did it but in all reality what we really wanted was to sit at home and drink beer while eating a gravy drenched chicken fried steak the size of our heads. For the most part eating healthy sucks, but the benefits are well worth every bite of the broccoli. When we eat right and work out we have more energy, we feel better, and we don't look like we could give birth to a DingDong eating beer swilling 15lb mega-baby any day now. So ya know, there's pros and cons.

The Summer is already looking to be an eventful one. Pool parties and river trips and other activities that require that I wear something that resembles a bathing suit. In an effort to not make each person that sees me in a bathing suit reel back in absolute horror and disgust I am doing my part to shed some cellulite from my ass. And my thighs. And where ever else I have it. In order to do this I am going to do exactly what I did last year. Workout, eat right, have fun on the weekends, and give myself a goal.

The goal is 10lbs gone by the end of June. 10lbs in one month. That should totally be easy, right?

Right?

Gah.

Write That Down

I'm going to preface* this entire story by saying that there were very few pictures taken during the latest SWMH Club meeting. We were busy. Very busy. What with all the drinking and laughing and the talking, but it's not the pictures that matter, it's the memories. Even if those memories aren't of club hopping or singing bad karaoke. Memories are made by making numerous trips to the convenience store and one very important trip to Walmart. Memories are made sitting on the back porch and telling stories that make us all laugh until we cry. Photos aren't the most important things, friendship is.

Isn't that THE best excuse for not taking a shitload of photos ever??

As I sat in the airport waiting to leave a guy sat down across from me and then proceeded to make my eyes bleed.



Those are BLACK ankle socks. With brown slip on shoes. BLACK. WITH BROWN. And khaki SHORTS with a green shirt! As you can see, he's not wearing a wedding band because no woman would marry someone who dresses like that and even if she did she would NEVER have let him leave the house like that.

When I arrived in Phoenix I was greeted by an already crying Princess (you owe me $5 Thomas) and we did the whole run to each other and hug each other thing and I didn't even care if people thought we were lesbians.

Since we weren't heading to Tucson until much later in the day we headed to a local restaurant and proceeded to sip on this:



Yes, my friends, that is a bacon bloody mary and it was divine.

Soon we were in Tucson and we were all together! Finally! And we even had a new member joining us this time around. The time seems to fly when we're all together. It's almost as if the universe knows that we don't get to see each other very often and plays a cruel joke on us by speeding up time.

Before I knew it it was time to leave. Time to say goodbye to my wonderful friends and head back home. Tears were shed and I was heart broken. Eight months of not seeing each other is too long and God knows when I'll see them again.

To Slick, Spike, and Snoop - Thank you for such a fantastic weekend. Thank you for making me laugh until my face hurt. Thank you for my gifts and thank you for your friendship. I love you guys.





* LOL

Run Down

I was kinda hoping that the next time I wrote I would be doing it from the comfort of my corner office overlooking a golf course all while raking in huge amounts of money just because I am me, but alas, that is not the case. I'm sitting here from the not-so-comfortable office chair that has held my ass for last 7 years. Nothing has changed. I've applied everywhere, but no success. Just like with the weight loss I am not going to fret about it. I'll continue to make what I make now and make the absolute best out of it. I also pray each day for the strength to hold off the choking of my co-workers and/or clients.

This Thursday I will fly to Arizona for yet another fabulous SWMH Club meeting with my girls Elle and Princess. I haven't laid eyes on them since the wedding in September and I am giddy with excitement. Oh ladies, I have missed you so. I can't wait to get hammered with you.

You SO know there will be pictures. Lots and lots of pictures. Also, maybe some drunk posting.

Speaking of pictures...I have some. Let me show you them.


Thomas and I have recently embarked on a journey to find the perfect cheeseburger. Thankfully there are a shit ton of restaurants in the DFW area and most of them don't suck! We also enjoy taking photos of our food and posting them on FB to make our friends and family green with envy.







We don't just limit ourselves to hamburgers and fries. While man really can exist on those two alone (and beer, let's never forget beer) we also eat seafood and cheese fries. Really good cheese fries with bacon. LOTS of bacon.


In other news, my dogs are adorable.