And Here I Thought Girl Trainers Were Softies

In an effort to get my fat ass back on track I finally got myself back into the gym on Saturday and even scheduled a 30 minute session with a trainer. My old trainer had long since moved on and sadly I hadn't really made much of an effort to replace him. So I called up the gym and had them fit me in with someone, anyone, who would be willing to work the flab off of me. They did and they gave me to a girl.

Ugh.

See the problem is, I don't like dealing with other women when it comes to my body. Well, that's not entirely true...I have one woman doctor and since her and I have the same specific region in common I figure she would be the most knowledgable. That and I'm not really comfortable with having a strange dude give me a breast examination and then stick a duck bill up my hoo-ha all while trying to make chit chat with me about the weather. There's something entirely creepy about that. So, I have male doctors and dentist and car repairmen and financial planners. It's not that I don't trust women professionals I just think most of them are catty bitches and I'd rather not deal with one if I can totally help it. It's a wonder how I work in such a customer service based business.

So here I am thinking that a girl trainer is going to be all chatty with me and we're gonna end up talking more about the latest installment of 'Twilight' (whatever the fuck that is) than we will on actually getting my ass into shape. Oh ho-ho-ho-hooooo how I was wrong. This bitch cannot be more than 5'4" and is MAYBE 100lbs soaking ass wet yet she caused me more pain in 30 minutes than I had felt in 6 different sessions with my old (male) trainer. She barely said a word to me, pointed to the machine I was to use, instructed me how to use it and then told me to go at it. She kept me constantly moving during the entire session and had me sweating within the first 10 minutes.

When the session was over I looked at her and said, "I'm kinda hating you right now." She responded back, "Then I know I'm doing my job". Bitch was right too, she did her job and I'm still in pain for it. Looks like I'll be back for more next Saturday too. God help me.