Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Stuff

If you own a dog, any kind of dog but especially large breed dogs, please heed this advice: Be ye not as stupid as I and buy some effing pet insurance. Miss Delighla has gone and ruptured the ACL in her knee. After speaking with the vet and with a kind receptionist with a chic South African accent at the orthopedic veterinary specialist's office AND learning that a surgery that MAY (that means it MAY NOT) return her to 100% AND that chances are, if she has this surgery, that she might then injure her other leg in the same fashion AND also learning that this particular surgery is about $3,000.00 (yes, you read that correctly. it's THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS OMFG.) Thomas and I have decided to take other measures. With restricting her activity, watching her closely, and giving her medication I am hoping this non-invasive and gentle approach to healing is going to work. She's not in pain, she eats like a horse, her behavior and demeanor hasn't changed a bit. She's just got a little limp.

You wanna know the best part though? Even if I buy pet insurance now and even if I have the surgery done for her, the pet insurance will not cover the other knee if it goes out as well. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!

And get this shit right here, people - the orthopedic specialist? He works for a group. This group has four locations in Dallas AND they have cornered the extremely profitable market in orthopedic surgery for dogs! There are no other surgeons in the area that are not a part of this particular group! Now, isn't that just special?

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Tell me something, how in good conscience can a store sell a bathing suit for more than $50?

I have to be on a boat headed toward the Caribbean in 60 days. I have to find a suitable and attractive swimsuit to wear on said boat for 5 days. I would LIKE to find one that isn't going to cost me a goddamned car payment.

Also, the people who design these suits are either blind or fucking retarded because the patterns SUCK. I'm sorry, leopard print on a tankini is NOT attractive. Horizontal stripes? HELLO! Unless you're a size zero with a love for purging your meals then horizontal stripes are going to ALWAYS make you look bigger than you really are.

Once again, men have it so easy. Nobody cares what they wear, as long as it isn't some thonged zebra-striped banana hammock. Throw on some trunks and some flip-flops and they're GOLDEN but us lady folk? We've got to wade through the halters and the strings and the v-necks and everything else to find something that won't make us look like Shamu on spring break AND THEN pay an arm and a leg for it.

Good Lord.

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To my neighbors upstairs,

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

And I hate your kid.

xoxo,
The people below you who can HEAR YOU SNORE and who purposefully have loud sex in the hopes that it wakes your brat up


2 comments:

S said...

My sister had to pay $3000 per knee to get her old dog the canine equivalent of a total knee replacement. We used to jokingly refer to him as "the $6000 dog" after his second surgery.

As you know, I've had my own issues with some big vet bills over the past several months, so I sympathize. . .

I'm with ya on the bathing suit thing, too. May I recommend Lands End? Their suits are standard, never-go-out-of-style colors and designs, and they last for YEARS if you rinse them after each wearing. I just bought a new one for our wedding trip after using the previous one for over TEN years!

flea said...

ugh, I loathe bathing suit shopping and do not envy you AT all. I usually end up getting something on sale from Sears as I like you cannot imagine why something with so little fabric can cost so much...however I did once buy an expensive brand from an actual "bathing suit" store and I still have it/wear it 3 years later

hope your pooch is doing ok, I can't imagine spending that much money on a pet (although I probably would)