Runnin' Like I Stole Somethin'

In an effort to fit into The Dress I am super serious about working out. I have a little more than a month til my dress comes in and I want that sucker to be big on me. No. Scratch that. I want it to be HUGE on me. I want that tailor to get that dress and think, "WTF? Why did this stupid bitch order a dress three sizes too big? Oh I am SOOOO gonna charge her a shit ton of money to take this in." But you know what? I will be THRILLED to pay every single penny of it. Why? Because that means that I WON. I beat my body into submission and made it my bitch. I decided that I was going to look fabulous for the wedding and dammit, I did it. Or at least I'm planning on doing it.

So people, here's the plan...I found this two week body turn around program on the instanets and some how convinced BFF Kim to go along with the torture. We meet at the gym every day after work, do 30 minutes of cardio and the 30 minutes of "strength training". By "strength training" I mean we sit on the mats with our weights, do an ass load of crunches, and talk shit about the skinny bitches around us. Anyways, the first day involved running during the cardio portion and I was dreading it. I loooooathe running. I feel like a complete idiot when I run and besides, it makes me sweat and look unattractive BUT I sucked it up and started running. Well, wouldn't you know it? I actually LIKED IT. I liked it so much that I ran the next day and the day after that. Hell, I'm gonna run again tonight! We may not be sticking with the program like we should be we are some runnin' fools up in that place!

Unfortunately with running comes a faster metabolism. A faster metabolism means I am hungry ALL.THE.TIME. I am not even joking. Do you know how hard it is to keep an under 1000 calorie diet every day when you get all woozy and shit from being hungry?! IT'S HARD. So I eat and an hour later I'm hungry. Then I drink water and my stomach laughs at me cause it knows that I ain't foolin' nobody. I know this won't last forever, it's just my body going in to shock because I'm actually doing something, but for now it's a pain in the ass.

The Dress comes in on July 16th and I refuse to let it and my body beat me. Now, it's off to the gym and to running my ass off, literally.