Thank God I'm Good At Swallowing

After six days of pure torture and agony I finally went to the doctor yesterday. The knee just kept getting worse and even with copious amounts of rest, booze, painkillers, and begging it to stop hurting I couldn't take it anymore. Worried at the possibility that I had caused more damage to myself than I knew I went in for my x-rays and waited to hear that I was well and truly fucked. Funny enough, I wasn't. It was a muscle sprain. A sprain that would heal in a week or so with more rest, a knee brace, and some anti-inflammatories. Not bad right? Heh.




LOOK at my sexy fucking brace. Isn't it DIVINE? Hell yes it is! In coordinating black with TWO Velcro straps and a sweet hole for my knee to breathe through. Also, please take note of my fabulous shoes and even more fabulous pedicure. Purple nail polish rocks my face off. And yes, that's a flower painted on my big toe. A FLOWER! With a sparkly bedazzled thing in the center of it. Cause I'm the shit.

Now, here's where the "cure" for this injury gets a little scary. I'm not a huge fan of swallowing pills to begin with so imagine my horror when I was given these...




Do you SEE how big it is?! It's almost an inch long! An inch may not seem like a whole lot to you but try sliding one of those down your throat and trust a bitch, I think you'll be changing your mind. I've got no problem taking your regular everyday over the counter pain relievers so I'm no baby about pill swallowing, but this thing is just ridiculous. However, this pill is supposed to be a gift from Jesus himself in that it heals all and even though I have to snap this fucker in half in order to get it down my throat I will take it. Thank you dear sweet baby Jesus for your healing pills. They better fucking work. Amen.