"Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- Like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew I will jump on the person who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you're scared -- we will high tail it out of there.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!
6. When you are confused -- I will use small words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I'll pick you up and dust you off-- After I laugh at you."
To my friends, this I pledge to you.
2 comments:
I'll come at you like a SPIDER MONKEY OLD MAN!"
hahahahahaha! Isn't that the freaking truth! I love it!
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