But Chocolate Is Soooooooo Good

It's certainly not breaking news to hear that one's high self-image and self-esteem doesn't necessarily mean that when others see us we are slim, tan, with legs for weeks and ass for days. Loving yourself and being a hot doesn't always go hand in hand. I've known men and women of all shapes and sizes. Even the most beautiful woman on the planet can feel that she looks like hammered dog shit and completely hate herself while a women that society thinks is fat or obese or ugly or whatever has the most out-going personality and loves herself more than anyone one else ever could. How you feel about yourself and how other people view you are two totally different issues.

Even at my heaviest weight I loved me some me. I've always had high self-esteem and carried myself well. Looking back at old pictures of myself I cannot believe how I let myself go. How could I possibly have believed I looked good? How did I live with myself? It's simple really, I just did. I knew I was a good person, I knew I was attractive, I knew I was funny and smart. Even when I would look in the mirror and see the big girl staring back at me I was okay with myself. However, now that I am past that, I am harder on myself. I still love me some me, but just a little less. Why? Because I've stopped being "okay" with myself. Because I am no longer the Incredibly Shrinking Mo. Because I'm afraid of re-living the past.

At this very moment there is a large basket full of chocolate goodies sitting in the break room. Working in an office where you sit on your ass for 8 hours a day isn't hard physically but it's hard on the waistline. Working with all men who couldn't care less about their physique and who constantly bring food in is even harder. I'd like to say that I've stayed away from that basket and that the only thing that's passed through my lips today has been coffee and nicotine but I cannot. I gave in and now I'm feeling terribly guilty.

I've been slacking when it comes the gym and a second helping here and there are making for a bad combination. I'm not gaining weight but I'm not losing weight either. However, I'm getting softer. I've noticed it in my legs and in my waist. I've lost muscle tone and I've gained inches. I am no longer happy with myself. Don't get me wrong, I still love me some me but I'm not satisfied with what I see when I look in the mirror. And I have no one to blame but myself.

I have so much to look forward to this summer and I want to look my absolute best. It's time to get off my lazy ass. It's time to get back on track.

I Can Has Pink Dolphin?

Mass and epic amounts of want for this creature...




From 'The Sun'

THIS is a flipping stunning picture of the worlds only PINK Bottlenose
dolphin.

The dolphin, which is an albino, is the odd one out within
its pod and after being spotted last year has been wowing visitors at a lake
in Louisiana, US.

The mesmerising mammal was photographed making a
splash by local charter boatman Captain Erik Rue, 42.

Cpt Rue has been studying the dolphin since it first surfaced in Lake
Calcasieu, an inland saltwater estuary, north of the Gulf of Mexico.

He said: I just happened to see a little pod of dolphins, and I noticed
one that was a little lighter.

It was absolutely stunningly pink.

WANTWANTWANTWANTWANT

Srsly. Would steal and put in my bathtub.

WTF? Where Did February Go?

Maybe it is true, the older you get the faster time seems to fly by. Or maybe it's just that February is a short month and I'm lazy when it comes to blogging.

I used to have angst and drama and a laundry list of items to bitch about but life is smooth sailing lately. Hell, life has been smooth sailing for months now. Every day is the same but different all at the same time. I realize that may not make much sense but it's the only way I can describe it.

As the weather warms up and spring eventually arrives and then turns into summer I can see myself hardly blogging at all. It's not that I don't want to it's just that sometimes you can't put moments into words and up on a screen in front of you. Or maybe I'm just not that great of a writer. I've mentioned before how I fear talking about the future too much. There are certain items that are definite to me and there are others that I have no idea if they will come to fruition. I do not care for uncertainty but I know that many things are out of my control and I just have to go with the flow. What I do know is that at this moment I am happy and that is what matters most.

Happiness and contentment tend to make for a boring blog, this I know. People (including myself) love to read about pain and anger and ranting. I just don't have it in me right now. The only frustration in my life at the moment is learning how to drive stick. Thomas, God bless his very very patient soul, agreed to put his car's transmission in serious danger and teach me. In 12 years of driving I've never had to really and truly think about what I'm doing when it comes to driving. You just get in and go right? Yea, not so much with the stick. There's the pushing of the clutch, and changing gears, and down-shifting, and trying my absolute best not to kill the damn car. It's gonna take a lot of practice and possibly one of those neck brace thingies. And maybe a new transmission too.

Camera Phone Photo Time

I've seen a lot of really nice cars in my neighborhood but this Rolls Royce was NICE. Hell, I was nervous just driving behind him.




Oh the irony. Houses for sale? Yea, only if you wanna buy ashes and some concrete posts.




And this is where we all say, "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww".




*snicker*

The Internet IS Serious Business

If ever you think that when you upload, comment, blog, or even surf the internet you are annonymous or hidden you are wrong. Very very wrong.

Over the weekend a teenaged boy recorded himself picking up the family cat Dusty and then slamming him against a shower wall, repeatedly punching and slapping the cat, and then spraying the cat with water in the shower. He uploaded the video to YouTube and within HOURS the video had been seen by thousands. A message board caught wind and not long after personal information about this boy had been found, confirmed, and posted everywhere. People, the interwebz was seriously SRSLY pissed off.

You can find anything and everything on the web. From the funniest of funny to the sickest and most foul you could ever imagine, it's all in one place - the internet. However, post a video of yourself beating up a defenseless cat and posting it for the world to see is beyond almost anyone's belief. We, as human beings, cannot tolerate such senseless acts and most of us just can't stomach to watch. I am one of those people. I have seen screen shots from the vid and that alone is almost too much for me to take.

Thanks to the efforts of many this kid and his brother, who allegedly filmed the henious act, have been reported to every major news source, local police department, PETA, ASPCA, Humane Society, etc. The cat has been removed from the home and the teenage boys are now facing criminal charges.

All of which took place in a matter of HOURS.

Record yourself playing Guitar Hero, ranting about politics, playing pranks on your friends, or whatever else you can think of. Upload it to YouTube and try to score some e-fame. However, do not fuck with animals and put it out for the world to see. Society as a whole may be royally screwed up in many ways but shit like this will not be tolerated. Kenny Glenn is the new example of how the internet truly is serious business.

Links:

All information on the cat abuser: "KENNY GLENN - CAT ABUSER"

Lawton, OK Channel 7 News: "Lawton teen films himself abusing cat, posts on YouTube"

UK Coverage - The Sun: "Sicko beats cat in YouTube clip"

So THAT's What They Do During Commercials

I got a good chuckle out of this...

Announcement

My very good friend D from Canada went and started herself a blog to document her upcoming RnY Gastric Bypass surgery. This is such an amazing and life changing event and I am so very glad she's decided to write about it. If you'd like to follow along feel free...

My Journey - RnY Style

Oh and D? I think you're divine and gorgeous just as you are now but you are gonna be SMOKIN' HOT when it's all said and done. I'm so proud of you! Love ya, woman. *SMOOCHES*